The benefits of social connection

Feeling close to others, knowing that others support us and are there for us in difficult times has further reaching consequences than just that we feel secure. Most of us know that having friends is important for our emotional well-being. Several studies have shown that feeling close to others and to socialize regularly increases overall happiness.

Less well known is the fact that there are more benefits: being part of a group of individuals who support each other is highly beneficial for our longevity.

 

Belonging to a tribe

From an evolutionary perspective, this makes a lot of sense. We are used to living in a group and back then, we needed our group to survive. We modern humans still really need our group to survive; we rely on our highly organized societies that supply us with food, health care, clothes and whatever else we may need. Unfortunately, by making the processes that supply us with all these goods and services more and more efficient, we have lost the personal interaction in them. We do not know the person who is selling us our bread; we cannot stop and chat at the checkout counter, because it has to be fast – or because it is a self-check-out without any human interaction.

Studies suggest that we need a few close friends who are loyal to us and whom we are loyal to in turn. Two or three of these close connections are enough. In addition, we need a larger network of acquaintances, which can be coworkers, neighbors or the owner of a local store. People whom we encounter regularly, who we can talk to and who provide a certain sense of stability. Because, back in the day when we lived in the savannah, we did not get to see hundreds of new faces every day, we were used to seeing the same 20 or 30 faces every day. Being confronted with all these strangers commuting in a big city creates stress on a daily bases. We can counterbalance this through regular encounters with people from our network of acquaintances.

 

Social contagion

Our friends can have a positive influence on us. Many behaviors are socially contagious. If one person in your friend circle starts exercising, there is a high chance that you will, too. A large study shows that even emotions spread through social media can be contagious.

They analyzed emotional status messages of people during times of rainfall and found that bad weather reduced the amount of positive content in status messages. This weather-dependent negative mood spread to friends in areas with good weather! This study suggests that social media synchronize our moods on a more global level. Of course, this does mean that, as shown in the study, negative moods can spread as well. However, the study suggests that everyone can influence their friends’ and in turn their own happiness by sharing more messages that are positive.

 

Touch reduces stress

However, we should also focus on our social connections outside social media. Friendly physical contact with a close one, like a hug or a friendly pat on the shoulder, can lower our experienced stress level and stress hormones in our blood. This effect lasts for hours: a hug in the morning can make a demanding day at work less stressful. Friendly touch is even more effective at releasing stress than friendly words.

 

The centenarians of Okinawa

The inhabitants of Okinawa, a region in the south of Japan, live especially long. People here belong rather to the lower socioeconomic class, which is traditionally associated with lower health. However, the people of Okinawa have very strong social bonds and social support in their communities, suggesting a powerful role of social involvement and connection in longevity.

 

Social connections let you live a longer and happier life

When we put all this together, we can already create a convincing picture. Close social connection makes us happier – which already is a health benefit in itself. Our close friends can have positive influence on our emotional state and our lifestyle – so it is important to spend time with people who are happy and engage in activities or habits that we would like to incorporate in our own lifes. That does not mean that you should leave a friend who suffers from depression behind. You can be the positive influence on them! However, try to balance out time spend with a friend who is going through difficult times by treating yourself to some extra hours with an especially happy friend. Positive social interactions lower our stress levels, especially when they also involve friendly interpersonal touch. All these health benefits might accumulate to a level where they let us live longer and healthier lives.

 

Scientific literature

Mogilner, C. (2010). The pursuit of happiness: Time, money, and social connection. Psychological Science, 21(9), 1348-1354.

Aral, S., & Nicolaides, C. (2017). Exercise contagion in a global social network. Nature communications, 8, 14753.

Coviello, L., Sohn, Y., Kramer, A. D., Marlow, C., Franceschetti, M., Christakis, N. A., & Fowler, J. H. (2014). Detecting emotional contagion in massive social networks. PloS one, 9(3), e90315.

Ditzen, B., Neumman, I., Bodenmann, G., von Dawans, B., Turner, R.A., Ehlert, U., Heinrichs, M., 2007. Effects of different kinds of couple interaction on cortisol and heart rate responses to stress in women. Psychoneuroendocrinology 32, 565–574.

Grewen, K.M., Anderson, B.J., Girdler, S.S., Light, K.C., 2003.Warmpartner contact is related to lower cardiovascular reactivity. Behavioral Medicine 29, 123–130.

Cockerham, W. C., Hattori, H., & Yamori, Y. (2000). The social gradient in life expectancy: the contrary case of Okinawa in Japan. Social science & medicine, 51(1), 115-122.

 

© Rebecca Böhme & Andrew Wold, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to the authors with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Photos by Matheus Ferrero and Thought Catalog and Sabrina Ellul on Unsplash

Connectedness to nature

 

The feeling of being emotionally close to others, close to nature and our direct environment is becoming less natural in the digital age. While it is easy to stay in contact with people, even when they are far away, we do not feel close and connected. It becomes rarer and harder to develop connectedness to our direct environment. While twenty years ago it was natural to talk to your neighbors regularly, exchange missing food items and help, nowadays we often do not even know them anymore.

With the increasing presence of our digital devices, we distance ourselves more and more from the present moment, from the direct experience of what is around us. While we undeniably gain a lot through these new technologies, we might be at risk for losing those little moments of doing nothing. Those are the moments, when we can actually feel connected to our environment – be it nature, another human being, an animal or simply the street we live in.

While we are doing nothing, while we are experiencing boredom, we actually open our attention up to what is happing in our direct surroundings: we watch people passing by on the street, we listen to the birds sing, we smell the fresh coffee on our neighbors table in the café. And we might start a conversation with him or her on how delicious coffee is.

In “The evolution of happiness” David M. Buss writes

“Appreciating the beauty of a blossom, the loveliness of a lilac, or the grace of a gazelle are all ways in which people can, in some small measure, fill their daily lives with evolutionarily inspired epiphanies of pleasure”.

 

Through these small pleasures we can develop a feeling of connectedness – but we do have to give ourselves the time and the openness of attention to even be able to perceive these things.

There is a whole field in research, that focusses on studying our relationship to nature: environmental psychology. Studies from this field of research show: exposure to nature decreases negative emotional states, like depression and anxiety, and increases positive feelings. But why?

Possible explanations include (according to Health Council of the Netherlands, 2004):

  • recovery from stress and attention fatigue
  • encouragement to exercise
  • facilitating social contact
  • encouraging optimal development in children
  • providing opportunities for personal development and a sense of purpose.

 

There might be even more to this. One study showed that nature positively affected well-being through the experience of higher connectedness to nature, higher private self-awareness and higher awareness of the immediate environment. Importantly, the participants were compared to a control group who experiences “virtual nature”, i.e. they were watching a movie of the same walk that the nature-group took. It therefore becomes clear, that the virtual world cannot replace the real nature experience.

It is also important, as the authors of this study note, that the increased well-being of participants in the nature-group was not simply related to a reduction in stress. There is more to the experience of nature than just that we calm down and get a break from our hectic lifestyles. The researcher write:

Humans have lived the vast majority of their lives embedded in nature, belonging to the natural world in very real ways. In geological time, it is only a tick of the clock that we have spent in highlyurban settings, working in concrete buildings, driving in climate controlled cars, and living in relatively densely populated areas, shut off from nature. As Pretty (2002) estimated, for 350,000 generations humans have lived close to the land as hunter-gatherers; a sense of belonging, place, and feeling embedded within the broader natural world characterized these cultures. In some ways, then, it would be surprising if the modern life of being divorced from nature did not have some negative consequences associated with it and that being in nature had positive benefits” (Mayer et al., 2009).

Another way of connectedness if feeling close to our fellow humans. We will talk about that in our next article.

 

 

Scientific literature

Mayer, F. S., Frantz, C. M., Bruehlman-Senecal, E., & Dolliver, K. (2009). Why is nature beneficial? The role of connectedness to nature. Environment and behavior, 41(5), 607-643.

 

© Rebecca Böhme & Andrew Wold, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to the authors with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Photos by Paz Arando and  Paola Aguilar on Unsplash 

 

A key to happiness: human connection

Humans are animals that live in groups. Back in the Savannah our survival depended on trusting our fellow humans and on being part of a flock. Nowadays, we have turned to an individualistic lifestyle. We avoid responsibilities and close connections, we often prefer independence, which we mistake for freedom. In part, the more individualistic lifestyle can support our well-being: it becomes easier to live a life that feels authentic and to experience being in control. Autonomy and authenticity are known to improve our well-being.

 

Being connected in times of globalization

However, our human flocks have become increasingly small. Our friends are part of our social network, but often live in different parts of the country or even the world. The same is true for our extended families, many of us have moved away from their hometown, away from parents and siblings. While we experience the endless possibilities in a globalized world mostly as opportunity, we sacrifice our close connections. As two global citizens, we too have moved away from family and friends, even from our home countries. It is nearly impossible and, when possible, takes a long time to establish new connections that carry the same weight as those of childhood friendships or family. The smallest stable unit is now our little family of four – quite a different situation compared to the nomadic group life our ancestors found themselves. 

 

Different types of connection

We don’t lose contact to friends and family, when we move. Quite the opposite has happened, we are in a highly frequent contact, sending messages, pictures and talking on the phone. However, digital contact is no substitute for real interpersonal contact. Human connection is an experience of being together of touching each other, of smelling each other, of hearing all the undertones in someone’s voice, which convey a lot more information than just reading the words and possibly seeing an emoji next to it. We also choose distant connections over people who live locally. This has the advantage of helping us feel connected to the people who are most similar to us, but makes us feel isolated in our living space. The less connected you feel to your neighbors, the less you trust them, and the more likely you are to become isolated in your living space.

 

Human connection in the digital age

We need that human connection for our well-being. I want to go so far to say that the freedom we gained is not worth the loss of being connected. We don’t need to give up that freedom of choosing our family, of choosing our flock and finding people who accept us in our individual ways. But we do need the close social interpersonal contact. New research shows that teenagers growing up in a digital world with social media and smartphones are actually less independent, and subsequently more depressed than previous generations. Messaging cannot replace simply spending time with our fellow humans.

While the endless opportunity of partners and friends often keeps us in a stage of indecisiveness, and we strive to keep our independence, we forget that social closeness is something inherent to the human condition.

Many studies show how important close interpersonal contact is. We feel better when we touch each other, when we spend time with each other, when we feel accepted and appreciated by friends, colleagues and family. Connectedness is a key ingredient to being happy. Let’s establish a new Zeitgeist, let’s base it on shared trust and support. Get close, open yourself up to others, tell them your sorrows and share your happiness.

 

Scientific literature:

Wenninger, H., Krasnova, H. & Buxmann, P. Activity matters: Investigating the influence of Facebook on life satisfaction of teenage users.  (2014).

Lemola, S., Perkinson-Gloor, N., Brand, S., Dewald-Kaufmann, J. F. & Grob, A. Adolescents’ electronic media use at night, sleep disturbance, and depressive symptoms in the smartphone age. Journal of youth and adolescence 44, 405-418 (2015).

Davey, C. G., Allen, N. B., Harrison, B. J., Dwyer, D. B. & Yücel, M. Being liked activates primary reward and midline self‐related brain regions. Human brain mapping 31, 660-668 (2010).

 

© Rebecca Böhme & Andrew Wold, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to the authors with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Photo by Jacob Ufkes on Unsplash