Feeling close to others, knowing that others support us and are there for us in difficult times has further reaching consequences than just that we feel secure. Most of us know that having friends is important for our emotional well-being. Several studies have shown that feeling close to others and to socialize regularly increases overall happiness.
Less well known is the fact that there are more benefits: being part of a group of individuals who support each other is highly beneficial for our longevity.
Belonging to a tribe
From an evolutionary perspective, this makes a lot of sense. We are used to living in a group and back then, we needed our group to survive. We modern humans still really need our group to survive; we rely on our highly organized societies that supply us with food, health care, clothes and whatever else we may need. Unfortunately, by making the processes that supply us with all these goods and services more and more efficient, we have lost the personal interaction in them. We do not know the person who is selling us our bread; we cannot stop and chat at the checkout counter, because it has to be fast – or because it is a self-check-out without any human interaction.
Studies suggest that we need a few close friends who are loyal to us and whom we are loyal to in turn. Two or three of these close connections are enough. In addition, we need a larger network of acquaintances, which can be coworkers, neighbors or the owner of a local store. People whom we encounter regularly, who we can talk to and who provide a certain sense of stability. Because, back in the day when we lived in the savannah, we did not get to see hundreds of new faces every day, we were used to seeing the same 20 or 30 faces every day. Being confronted with all these strangers commuting in a big city creates stress on a daily bases. We can counterbalance this through regular encounters with people from our network of acquaintances.
Our friends can have a positive influence on us. Many behaviors are socially contagious. If one person in your friend circle starts exercising, there is a high chance that you will, too. A large study shows that even emotions spread through social media can be contagious.
They analyzed emotional status messages of people during times of rainfall and found that bad weather reduced the amount of positive content in status messages. This weather-dependent negative mood spread to friends in areas with good weather! This study suggests that social media synchronize our moods on a more global level. Of course, this does mean that, as shown in the study, negative moods can spread as well. However, the study suggests that everyone can influence their friends’ and in turn their own happiness by sharing more messages that are positive.
Touch reduces stress
However, we should also focus on our social connections outside social media. Friendly physical contact with a close one, like a hug or a friendly pat on the shoulder, can lower our experienced stress level and stress hormones in our blood. This effect lasts for hours: a hug in the morning can make a demanding day at work less stressful. Friendly touch is even more effective at releasing stress than friendly words.
The centenarians of Okinawa
The inhabitants of Okinawa, a region in the south of Japan, live especially long. People here belong rather to the lower socioeconomic class, which is traditionally associated with lower health. However, the people of Okinawa have very strong social bonds and social support in their communities, suggesting a powerful role of social involvement and connection in longevity.
Social connections let you live a longer and happier life
When we put all this together, we can already create a convincing picture. Close social connection makes us happier – which already is a health benefit in itself. Our close friends can have positive influence on our emotional state and our lifestyle – so it is important to spend time with people who are happy and engage in activities or habits that we would like to incorporate in our own lifes. That does not mean that you should leave a friend who suffers from depression behind. You can be the positive influence on them! However, try to balance out time spend with a friend who is going through difficult times by treating yourself to some extra hours with an especially happy friend. Positive social interactions lower our stress levels, especially when they also involve friendly interpersonal touch. All these health benefits might accumulate to a level where they let us live longer and healthier lives.
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